I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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