My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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