everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
