so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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