No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
