Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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