what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
