when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize