Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
