oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
