yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
