Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize