Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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