What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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