Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
