But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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