Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
