made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
