Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
