this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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