Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
