she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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