Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
