Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
