Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
