i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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