I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
