I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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