I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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