I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize