tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
