How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
