i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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