dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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