they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My dick has a subreddit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My life is pants optional.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
