worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i came on her dog
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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