u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
