Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize