When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
