would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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