Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
