If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
