he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We left an ass print on the piano.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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