Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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