I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
