Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
