This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
there is glitter all over my balls
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