so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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