i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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