If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
