everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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