Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
