I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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