She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
