Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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