I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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