Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
