are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
