So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize