why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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