8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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