I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
