dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
