is this the sara with the beer cane?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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