Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
