You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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