My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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