There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
