do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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