He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
