I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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