omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
